![[Sketch of an injured lizard]](/images/il.gif)
Chapter 3 - Hull
No road lasts for ever, and soon the intrepid wanderer found himself at a crossroads, this time with a set of traffic lights. It looked as though all was lost, not just David. Even the warped currency of the Isle of White didn't extend to a coin that could be tossed to decide between three roads, and David, being male, was unable to think of tossing one coin twice. And so he just stood there, unable to decide on a course of action.
As any readers who know York well may have come to realise, our hero was on the edge of a main road, and the traffic was streaming past. As time passed, the traffic light cycles came and went, and David began to notice the traffic, and how most seemed to be traveling in one direction. 'Perhaps I should go the same way as them?' But then, something that was to change the whole course of this great adventure occurred.
A bus, instead of just zooming past, as others had done, unnoticed, stopped directly opposite, to allow an old lady to alight. Quick as lightning, David deduced that this was a bus stop. Somewhat slower, he reached the logical conclusion: 'if it is a bus stop, you can catch buses there'. But then, as is the wont of males, he took it one stage too far: 'I'm supposed to be catching a bus; that is a bus stop, you catch buses there, therefore, I will go there and catch a bus.' And with that profoundly illogical statement, he set off.
As David jumped back onto the pavement, the van skidded by, missing him by the skin of his teeth. The driver hurled abuse from the window, and David blinked back a tear, before taking a few steps and utilising the pedestrian crossing. Once safely on the other side of the road, he sat down in the bus stop, Soon enough, along came another bus, and, putting his arm out, David caught it. How the next part of this tale came to pass, I cannot quite fathom, but I suspect the bus driver was deaf. I do not want to accuse him of evilness, but I am sorely afraid that perhaps this was the cause of the tragedy which now befell our adventurer.
'One to Edinburgh please' (ah, not quite as stupid as we have suspected then) 'Certainly mate, two pounds fifty please'. But let us leave this somewhat dull exchange of conversation, and take a brief look at the outside of the bus. it was a big, green, double decker bus, tastefully adorned with an advert for Lord of the Rings on the side. As buses do, it bore it's number and destination on the front. 'X46' it read, and 'Hull'. But let us not dwell on such petty matters, and return again to our hero, who has bought his ticket.
After a short while of being sat on the bus, the driver called out 'Pocklington'. At this point David knew something was amiss, as Pocklington was surely not a real place... however he recalled the episode of 'The Story Makers' he'd watched that morning and Blue Cow's adventure on the bus and decided that this must be the same kind of bus, so stood up ready to have an adventure in a mythical land....
Unfortunately, his sense of direction seemed to have worsened, instead of walking down the bus, he turned first to the back. Realising his mistake as he reached a dead end, he turned around and walked down the bus, and up the stairs. By this time, the bus had moved on, and so David took a seat and waited to arrive in Edinburgh.
Having reached the final destination of the bus, David got off to explore Edinburgh. Despite the big sign over the train station saying "Hull", he remained oblivious to the fact that he was anywhere other than where he should be. As he descended the steps to the bus he bumped into a big burly bloke with ginger hair wearing a skirt, which reinforced his belief he was in the land o' Robbie burns. So David set off to explore the city saying "och aye l'nooo" to everyone he met. Being David, he was completely oblivious to the fact that people were crossing over the street to avoid him and generally looking at him in a strange kinda way.